Disclaimer

My previous posting, on Assassinations, has been sitting online in "Draft" mode for a couple weeks now. I think I will finally publish it today, and simply accept the fact that nothing I write will ever feel finished. It seems as if I will have to learn to live with the reality that even as I write, I'll know there is so much more to say. Furthermore, whatever I DO manage to put in writing may well have errors in it, or be insufficiently analyzed. This is such a hard thing to do! For me, to publicly expose ideas that are less-than perfectly-postured (and protected?) is as nerve-wracking, almost, as not saying anything at all.

Nevertheless, I have to follow my stronger impulse: it HELPS me to write things down. It's a process of thinking-aloud, and, for whatever reason, seems to be the way I learn best. So, I will have to accept the inconvenience, embarrassment, and at times, sheer terror, that writing brings with it. In the process, hopefully, I will build up inner-muscles of resilience that allow me to continue writing, and to sleep well at night...

It's obvious I'm not much of a public person, as far as expressing myself, for I purposely do NOT list my blogs with the search engines. Why, then, do I write, and publish online? Well, I can't frankly say - it's an irony that even I am aware of, though it's explanation is, at this moment, beyond me. Maybe I'm practising for when I WILL feel ready to write and publish publicly. Maybe I am insecure enough to want to see something constructed, something built, that has my name on it (even though it may not be my real name, or my full name). Whatever the case, I have to admit there are many failings in my periodic practise of writing, as I do here, in an online environment. However, the bigger failing, for me, would be NOT to do so. For whatever reason(s), I have a need to express myself, and it is especially noticeable as I learn new things. In fact, this need is so great, that were I not to exercise it, I would reduce my ability to learn, and cheapen my pleasure in doing so.

With this disclaimer announced (to myself), I hereby grant myself permission to publish articles online, with the full knowledge that they are incomplete, inaccurate, insufficient, and even in some cases, WRONG. And with this permission slip, I intend to grant myself greater peace of mind, and expect to witness increased intellectual productivity. Let's see if it works!